Love expert Lola Augustine Brown answers your pressing dating and relationship questions

Hi Lola,
I'm in Grade 12, and I recently started to become friends with a guy who transferred to my school from another school in my town. It happened randomly that he became my grad escort (something we do for graduation in my town) and I didn't know him too well at the time I had asked him. After a month or so, I started to grow feelings for him, but he had an on again off again relationship with another girl in my school, and frankly, he is a bit of a player because he has had "a thing" with three other girls in my school... but I think I'm starting to fall for him. When I see him I melt inside, when I see his name or hear his name, my heart skips a bit, and when he talks to me, I feel like the luckiest and happiest girl in the world. Lola, I really think I'm falling in love with him... and it has been about 6 months since he became my grad escort, and I have gotten to know him pretty well. He is one of the nicest, funniest, and genuine guys I know, but I don't think he likes me in that way. I do believe we are good friends.... but yes, he is in a relationship, I think, and I hurt daily thinking about how I can never have him in the way that I want him... I have never felt this way for a guy before... I don't think I am good enough for him. If your advice is to move on, please can you tell me how to do that? I really am desperate for help because I am sick of having this aching heart...
Falling hard

Oh honey, I've been there so many times. I don't think love can ever hurt as much as it does when you are a teenager. The first flushes of love turn us all into obsessives, and make us all feel like you do. I swear, I had more heartache over boys in high school than I ever had in my more adult relationships. Your feelings are real, they are raw, they are pure and no doubt the fact that the love you feel for him isn't being given back to you hurts like hell. The fact that he is in a relationship means that yes, you should probably move on and try to forget about him, as difficult as that is. 

The best thing you can do is go cold turkey on him as much as possible. Resign yourself to the fact that he isn't going to date you, not while he is in a relationship with someone else, and avoid him. Find other people to hang out with and don't go to places where he is likely to be. You need to distract yourself with other things, spend time with friends and do the things that make you happy. It isn't going to be easy to move on, and for a while it will still hurt like hell when you do see him, but with time it will get easier. 

If he should ask you why you are distancing yourself, you could say that you just need a little space because you are worried that you've developed more than just purely friendly feelings for him. This way, he knows how you feel and if he is feeling the same way, it gives him the opportunity to address his current relationship situation and change it if he actually does feel the same way about you. 

You've been pining after this guy for six months, and if nothing has happened by now, I don't think you should wait around for things to change. Try to stop thinking about this unavailable man and look instead for guys that are free (a much easier pursuit!). As for your comment about not being good enough for him, forget that claptrap! You are worthy of any man you set your sights on, and believe me, when you see your own self-worth, boys will see that too – there are few things more attractive than a confident woman. 

Heartache does get easier with time, and I wish you luck in getting through this situation. You will get through this, and the other heartaches that will come along before you meet the right boy for you. Dealing with all these emotions gets marginally easier with age, and you'll come through this just fine.